Mothers Day

As my first Mother's Day approaches I'm flooded with all of the memories that I have stored in my heart and I can't keep them straight. It's been seven long, beautiful, challenging, life altering months. Motherhood has been everything and nothing I thought it would be.

I've stayed up countless nights feeding a baby, changing dirty diapers, and in the process crying myself because I just want to cuddle under the covers. I've stared in amazement into the eyes of the most beautiful brown haired little girl and had my eyes flood with joyful tears because she's here, she loves me, and she is OURS.

Sophia was born at 2:48 a.m. after about 18 hours of labor. I pushed for 15 minutes and she was here. I was terrified because I thought I would push for a lot longer, I wasn't ready to be a Mom yet- I still had another hour or two!!! The moment that the nurse placed her onto my chest, I gasped, looked at Joel and just cried. That moment in time was perfect, God gave us a little blessing. He allowed us to raise a little girl in the fear of the Lord. Do you know how SCARY, wonderful, & amazing that is?

I have the responsibility to raise her and teach her about God. I know I will fail her, make her upset, and let her down, but I'm glad to know that's not where our hope is, we grow with grace in the Hope of our Lord. I hope some day that God will soften her heart and make her see Him as Savior. I hope we will share the greatest common love anyone can ever share.

This weekend has come not in a way that I expected it. She's been sick for 2 weeks and I'm so drained, stressed, and tired. I thought that I would be excited, we would go to dinner, and I'd have a great weekend. To be honest, I just want to sleep :) Happy Mothers Day!!!!

Soli Deo Gloria!