I've had a pretty hard time adjusting in Columbus. I'm not sure if it's because I have a baby now and no car, which means I cant go anywhere or just the lack of fellowship. I just feel like everyone is so busy, like time doesn't stop at all. I hate it. I really loved being at other posts because I was able to sorta join other families. I never felt left out, and we always had several homes open to us to just stop by and hang out. It felt nice, warm, and welcoming. Being here, I don't get that. I know there are a lot of people that love us and will have us over, but it's never like "hey, I'm bored" or "hey, I'm having a bad day, can I come over?". I feel like we have to have a formal invitation to be welcome for a few hours. There's just so much going on. I don't blame anyone, but it's been hard.
I guess I've had it too good for too long huh? I love my church, and I love my friends... but I need more closeness. I will need it even more when Joel leaves. I can't stand the thought of not being able to just drop in on someone when the loneliness hits me. That's why I'm going home. I will keep myself busy with my best friend and family. If I ever need a day alone or some shopping to just push the loneliness away, I know I have my mom and mil. They love my daughter and that comforts me. It makes me happy to know that I can drop in and have them enjoy her for a few months since she's been away from them most of their lives.
For now, I have four weeks to pack, find somewhere to store our stuff, figure out how to haul a trailer and move cross country for the fourth time in FOUR YEARS :) gotta love the army!
