I love my daughter beyond words, she's one of the greatest things to ever happen to me! She brings me so much love and joy every single day. When she was born it was pure bliss, seriously- I hardly slept! I was so enamored with this precious little baby. She was born with a full head of beautiful brown hair and big brown eyes- I was so in love!
Now that she is seven months old, crawling, and exploring the world of shrieking and frustration- well now it's a different ball game. I wish someone would have told me that this was normal, that this didn't make me a bad mother. That sometimes wanting to just "sit" was normal, we all get tired after all!
I admit there are times, like two nights ago, that are totally wrong but it happens to all of us. Sophia woke up from her nap, and I popped in a workout video thinking she would be okay to play through it. WRONG. She kinda whined and moaned through the first ten minutes and I Was SO frustrated because I knew she didn't want anything! A few minutes later I felt beyond horrible because I knew it was just my selfishness. It's all perspective and heart after all. We have good days and we have bad days, but it all depends on how *I* feel because she never really does anything different (unless she's teething). She's a sweet little baby just trying to communicate her frustrations, she doesn't know that whining all day is draining to mommy's ears :)
This may seem stupid to some because she's only seven months but I shut the video off and talked to her. I told her I was sorry for being selfish and thanked God for showing me that. I was feeling drained and just played with her instead, that's all she wanted. I hope that as she gets older I will be able to communicate my failures and sin in hopes of her coming to understand grace.
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